LOSING AN ANIMAL THAT DIED, GRIEF VERY BAD

[mrs sharon clinton]

Hello everyone, we have a picture of our siamese cat CELINE she died on 9-06-09. highly intelligent,she loved us so much,and we loved her massive back. she is in my mind every waking minute at the moment. The vet did bloodtest and she had kidney desease,kidney failure. the vet said she suspected Celine was born with kidney problems. Our gorgeous cat enjoyed her life until she got sick about 2 weeks back. within 2 weeks of showing signs of being sick she had to be put down by us. vet said her kidneys too far gone. When my husband and i went to see her in vets room before we had to say our last goodbye, celine was so happy to see us, she suddenly looked and acted like her old self. celine purred for us and meowed and that was her way to say goodbye. I am full of grief and guilt that we had to put her down but we had no choice, a big part of my soul feels like it has gone with her at the moment. Does anyone think she could come and visit us from the other side. I imagined the first night she went that she jumped onto my side of the bed. but nothing to really feel her. our kids are upset also. So if anyone wants to talk to me about grief of losing celine or their pets,please do. it hurts so much. she was apart of our family.

[Juliane]

After my dog died (she was only 1.5years old when it happened), strange things happened right after her death. Specially electronics started acting up (TV turned on by itself and all this stuff..) it was weird! Was it her? Maybe...

Her death was very hard for us as well, I always feel like it is my fault.
She had a 5times enlarged heart (Her entire belly was heart), but the vets did not figure that out until last minute.
I am very active and took her running at least once a day. If I would not have done that, she may would be still alive. With her condition she was supposed to move at least as possible, but we just did not know it.
I felt so bad it was horrible.

Anyways, but you know when this wired stuff stopped happening? After we got 2 new puppies. I think she was happy that we were able to move on and then went to rest.

[mrs sharon clinton]

Hi Juliane, yes it was never your fault ever about your young dog that died. Celine died close to 10.30am and that night our light globe in our bedroom that was an energy saver light, that was supposed to have a long time blew out, weird. And that night i felt a cat jump up on my side of the bed, i then thought it must be Celine.

[tbt]

Hi Sharon,
I'm very sorry to hear of your sudden loss. I know what you are going through. I had a male black persian who also died of kidney failure, but instead of me doing the right thing, I waivered, faltered, and tried to make him live longer. I could not accept he was dying. I could not imagine my world without him. He was my first cat that I raised from a kitten, to the age 16. My constant companion for so many years, so many changes in my life. In retrospect, I should have put him down earlier, before he suffered so badly. I was in so much denial when I finally brought him in to be euthanized. It hurt so bad. I blamed myself, I blamed God, I blamed the world for my hurt and grief. I cried at work for days. I thought I heard his yodeling in the early mornings. I must tell you this. This all happened in April 2003. It still hurts today, and I have tears just remembering that day, but not as much. I remember the good things about him now. And I learned a very important lesson not to let my pet linger, just to make me happy he's still with me. His mate, an 18 year old black female persian, became ill a few months later, and I did not let her linger like him. Another thing I have found that helps is a ceremony of closure. I had my beloved male cat cremated and had his ashes returned. On our next fishing trip about a month after he died, (he loved to go on fishing trips to Wisconsin with us), my husband and I had a small memorial ceremony, and I spread his ashes around the area he loved so much. I asked for his forgiveness. When I had the female cat put down, I could not afford the return of the ashes, but we still had a ceremony for her; I wrote her a letter and a eulogy, and we burned them in a special little fire. I have a photo album dedicated just to the cats we have had in our life.

One other thing I discovered was that even after a couple of months, I still missed him so very much. I thought that time would heal my wounds, but it did not. I realized that I had a painful hole in my heart that needed to be filled. It ached to be filled. I realized that I needed a pet in my life. I just was not complete without one. Thats when I brought home a wonderful kitten, Benji. This wonderful new life helped me so very much. My answer to you is no cat will ever replace Celine, and you should not want one to. She was a very special soul. Each has a very different personality that you will fall in love with, all over again. Sometimes, pet owners are afraid of getting another pet because they don't want to deal with the pain of losing them sometime in the future. I try to look at it this way, the pain of grief is a small price to pay for the many, many years of unquestioning love, friendship, and happiness in having a pet companion. Even if their lifetime is shortened by things outside our control, I am happy to share that lifetime of love with them. My last cat was adopted from a high kill shelter about 6 months ago. He had been there for many weeks and his time was up. He has since blossomed into an awesome cat, and is still evolving.

Tracy - Chicago, Illinois

[mrs sharon clinton]

I felt sad for you reading about your male black persian,he died of the same thing as Celine. I was in denial also when i heard about celine. the vet already had her in her care for bloodtests, so the vet rang me back and told me celine has kidney desease. just while having blood tests she was in kidney arrest/failure already. vet just said you need to come and say goodbye and let celine go. i was crying on phone. i was in denial for days, now i know it has happened the shock and denial has moved to depression at the moment. Yes i will get another siamese cat soon. celine was cremated but i couldnt afford to get ashes. the vet said that celine was born most definatally with kidney problems from birth and that is why her life was short. the vet never picked it up when we saw her each year. the album with pets lost is a great idea. you being only 16 when you lost your male persian is so young. my daughter is 14 now at the moment. when we told her she was shaking/trembling crying and hyperventalating in shock

[The Castrejon babies]

Do not ever feel guilt, i know it is so very easy to blame your self but what helps me is I think about all the love I am giving to Gigio, he also was detected with infarcts to his kidneys I was devastated I keapt thinking it was my fault, Was it something I did? but I have a great friend who reminded me of what a great life i have given my kitty we love them until the end, you gave Celine a great happy life her last minutes were happy because she saw you, and trust me where ever she is, there is no doubt in my mind that she is happy waiting for the moment in wich you will be together again but meanwhile she will be your little furry Angel and I am glad that she found your family who gave her a good life.

[mrs sharon clinton]

thanks so much for your reply on celine, this site is really great. i am glad celine saw me and my husband before she left this earth. I wish i could feel her energy around me, but maybe she has moved on to the rainbow bridge already now. the rainbow bridge story is great i found it on the internet.