My dog vs my dad

[Jeni Ann]

I use to live with my mom and dad when my dog was just a puppy. Of course it just happen to be the time that my dog is going through her chewing stage. She also had a very bad habit of jumping on things, like for example she jumped on top of my grandpas truck and cost about $4000 worth of damges done to the paint. Ever since then my dad can't stand my dog and hes always telling me to get rid of her and that she is stupid (which she is not)! I can take my dog to the park and I dont have to keep her on a leach she stays right by my kids, she also is very well trained, shes listens really good. I've never had a dog like my Roguie. My dads dogs on the other hand don't listen, they run away, they have to be on a chain or locked up in the yard. My question is this... What would be the best thing for me to do or say when my dad starts downing my dog? We have gotten into many fights over my dog and it seems like he would've gotten the point that my dog is one of my kids and I can't just get rid of her. Please help I am tired of feeling like a piece of crap when my dad and I get into it. What should I do?!?!?!

[Dr. Stephanie LaFarge]

It sounds like your Dad likes to get your attention...even in such a negative way as a fight. It will take a lot of discipline on your part to REFUSE to have this fight with him about the dog. You and he have very different styles of dog rearing. You will probably never see eye to eye on how to treat a dog who is a member of your family. You should ask yourself: Do I need him to like and respect my dog as much as I do? Do I still feel guilty about what happened when dog was a puppy? If I weren't fighting with my Dad about the dogs would we be fighting about something else? Once you have satisfied yourself that you are not contributing to keeping this fight going, tell him you don't want to argue about the dog any more. Offer him one last apology for the damage that puppy did and then ask him if he is willing to not discuss the dog any more. He may not agree right away but you can walk away from the discussion, without being rude, so that eventually the fighting will stop. It does take two to make a fight. It is not good fro your kids to witness this kind of on going tension between their mother and their grandfather who is also part of their lives.

[Jeni Ann]

I will give it a try anything has got to be better than how we deal with it now. I think my problem is that I feel that my dog is a good dog she has cost a little bit of money but so did his dogs and now my sister got a dog last year and he eats everything in his sight but my dad has no problem with him (my sisters dog) or his dogs. He just hates my dog and shes not even allowed to go over to his house, but my sisters dog is allowed to live here> And when he chews something up he dont get into any trouble my kids do for not having every little thing picked up. I just feel that this is wrong on how he treats my dog. But I will try to just walk away. And It's not really about him respecting my dog as much as I do (cause I know that will never happen) but it really does hurt me when he treats my dog so bad and all the other dogs like gold!