My dogs and my new spouse (from Ashley)

[Elyse Orecchio]

Hello, this question is from Ashley...thanks!

In a few months I will be getting married. I have two wonderful labs (5 & 6 years of age) who will be moving with me to our new home. How can I help them adapt to the new environemt and all the changes. My future husband does not LOVE dogs as I do and has asked that they not get on the furniture. I am willing to compromise but also don't want my dogs to be more confused by all the changes and new rules. In addtion to a new home they will be leaving behind another dog and two cats a larger backyard and free run of the entire house. How can I make this trasition as easy on them as possible while keeping the peace with my new spouse?

[Dr. Stephanie LaFarge]

Ashley,
You have two jobs ahead of you and it sounds like you have just the right attitude to succeed with both. Regarding the dogs, I suggest you consult with our Animal Behavior Dept for some suggestion about helping them adjust to a new set of rules. Clearly you will have to set aside some time and energy so they won't feel neglected and so they will feel that this new home is a place with lots of rewards in it for them. Just because they can't be on the couch, doesn't mean they can't thrive in this new home with perhaps more long walks with you etc. Regarding your other'job'...that of newly married spouse... this will also take lots of patience and positive attitude. Start by taking the pressure off your husband to love the dogs as much as you do. Try not to judge him on his behavior toward the dogs ( assuming he is not abusive) You may wish he would spontaneously show more affection. That may come later. For now, show him that you are willing to compromise ( as you said) on the ground rules. You can also find ways that he can be lead to interact in positive ways with the dogs. For example, throwing a ball or feeding very special treats. If the dogs expect good things from him, he may start to respond to them. We know the power of a dog's happy greeting and expectation of something positive. There will be times when he sees you seek comfort and contact with your dogs. You don't intend to shut him out but he may feel that anyway. So your husband will need more specific reassurance than the dogs do that you love very much. The dogs already know how you feel about them. Even though you are married and have moved, they won't feel any less loved by you.