Too many losses in such a short period of time..... how do I cope?

[Kim Bair]

Well... this issue is very painful to me, because just recently we had our Jack Russel "Misty" get a hold of a small potato chip bag, she got it stuck on her head, she suffocated. We found her in the yard later in the afternoon after we got home from work/school. We live in the woods, and we burn all of our paper trash.... but this piece must have gotten away from the burn pile, or we may have been simply too lazy to pick it up, when it fell, I am not sure which happened, but we were simply devastated. Especially because 4 days before that we found our beloved cat "Fuzzy Kitty" on the side of the road, someone hit her. I never even knew she went out to the road, we are back off the road a pretty good ways, but she loved being outside. She was nursing 5 week old kittens at the time, so we became their mom, luckily they had started eating can food a few days before she died, so they were eating on their own, and I also got the homemade recipe "kitten glop" and was feeding that to them as well. They are doing fine.
So that was 2 animals in 4 days, we have other cats and dogs. Later that night, our absolutely adored Golden Retriever "Sierra" came in around 11 after going out for the night, came in, got a drink of water, and laid on the kitchen floor and died. I went out to get her about 5 minutes after she came in to take her to my room with me, she had been sleeping beside my bed because she was having trouble climbing the stairs to my sons room, so he had already went to bed or else he would have carried her back end up the stairs so she could sleep with him!!When I called for her, she didn't come, unusual, so I went out to wake her, tapped her tail with my toe and said "come on lazy girl, lets go to bed", no movement.
I got down beside her and knew she was gone... I called for my husband who was downstairs in the basement because our daughter was sleeping with me due to being upset about losing the Jack Russel earlier that day, he ran up the steps to see what happened and I collapsed on the floor in tears. I was just absolutely devastated. He went upstairs to get our 17 yr old son, who just loved that dog to pieces, and I heard him crying before he made it down the stairs.... Our oldest daughter,22, drove up to our house from her place at midnight to see Sierra and say "goodbye" she was also just crushed.
We thought we had been through the mill, and it couldn't get worse for us.....WRONG.
My oldest daughter left 2 days ago for vacation with her b/f, and left her labradoodle in the care of my mother. "Molly" the dog, is 7 months old and a real handful. My phone rang the morning after my mom got the dog, "Molly" had run off and ran out onto the main road and was hit by a car. My son was home yesterday (thats when this happened) from school due to getting stitches in his head at midnight, and we left immediately to meet mom at the vet, Molly didn't make it. She went into shock, and her lungs were so traumatized she couldn't be saved. My daughter will be absolutely devastated, beyond belief, she cried for days after Sierra died. She adored this dog.... I am still in shock, we buried Molly yesterday and made her a headstone. Starting to think that we could start our own business, its awful.
I am just wondering how I am gonna tell my daughter that her dog was hit and killed one day after she left for vacation, she cannot call without spending alot of $ from where she is, but will be home late Sunday night. What am I gonna do?? My mom feels so completely guilty and responsible. We sure have had a time of it lately, sure could use some pet advice.
My 3rd dog, who I still have, was and still is lost without the other 2, she would be completely lost if we didn't have kittens for her to play with!
Lost..............
k

[bobbie]

OMG This is devastating. The tears are flowing for your family and Beloved pets, You are in my Heart and prayers, Big Hugs, bobbie

[Cheryl Martin]

How devastating for your family right now. My heart goes out to you and I will keep all of you in my prayers tonite. God bless and hugs, Chery

[Michelle Martin]

This is unthinkable....I am so sorry for you and your family, and your companions who have crossed the Bridge too soon. I think the pet loss support centres listed on this website would be a good place to start. They are usually staffed by people who understand the pain of losing a companion animal -- people who have been through it themselves. I called one in my area after I lost my best friend and soul-mate kitty Tristan on June 28 of this year. He was (is) the light of my life; he was happy and seemingly healthy the day before he passed -- it was the biggest shock of my life finding him passed away on the floor after I woke up. Soon after this devastating loss, my sister developed severe pneumonia and was in critical condition in the hospital. As soon as she began to pull through in mid-August, my mother passed away from a terrible allergic-type reaction to a drug she was on. I am in severe shock and grief from 2 major losses in my life within an 8 week period; it was almost 3 losses....

I was very moved by your story.... I know what it is like to have shock and grief compounded with more shock and grief. What you are going through is not only extremely sad, but I'm sure that the unexpected nature of these losses, as well as the large number of them in such a short time, is proving traumatic as well. I hope that you can get the support you need... through a pet loss centre or through counselling, if you feel it is warranted. It is important, if one goes that route, to find a counsellor who sympathetic to, and experienced with, pet loss -- and with the grieving process. I have read and heard many times that the grief process one goes through with the passing of a companion animal is no different than grief for the loss of a human being. For me, that is true. It's a matter of "wading through" the shock and grief and any guilty feelings -- there are no shortcuts. And the process is complicated and compounded with multiple losses stacked on top of each other. Still, some degree of comfort can be found by sharing your story with people who are sympathetic, and by embracing your remaining companion animals.

May you find some peace at this very difficult time in your lives....

Michelle

[Kim Bair]

Michelle,
Thanks so much, your words mean so much to me. I have to tell my daughter tomorrow night about her dog and am not looking forward to it...

[Michelle Martin]

I wish you strength, Kim....this will be such a heart-wrenching thing to have to tell your daughter. I feel so very sorry that you and your family are going through this.... My thoughts are with you and your daughter, to find the strength to deal with this, and some comfort in each other's love. I know how incredibly hard it is.

[Gina Marie]

WELL I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS...YOU HAVE SUFFERED SO MANY LOSSES...AND EACH ONE WAS PAINFUL...I AM VERY SORRY FOR THE LOSS OF YOUR BELOVED PETS. THE ONLY COMFORT I CAN BRING TO YOU IS THIS...THEY ARE ALL TOGETHER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BRIDGE...AND WHEN YOU ARE READY TO GO, THEY WILL ALL BE THERE TO MEET YOU. I KNOW IT IS VERY LITTLE COMFORT, BUT I WILL SAY PRAYERS FOR ALL OF THE LOVING PETS YOU LOST, AND KNOW THAT GOD IS LOOKING AFTER THEM ALL UNTIL YOU ARRIVE...!

[Luxray]

oh,god!this is terrible!i cried while i read your story,i would die if one of my pets...crosses the bridge.i already suffered bart's loss.don't worry,i'm sure god needed them there,and took them for one good reason.

HUGZ'N KIZZEZ.Luxray

[DiAnn Miller]

Dear Kim; You poor thing! I'm so, so, sorry for these losses you and your family are enduring. I can't find the words...

Please update us on how you are doing and know that you are NOT ALONE.

[janine boguslawski]

Im so sorry for your losses. Thank God they have each other to play with and be with..You went through a lot of trama,which the pain will take a while to disappear.Have you ever read the poem Rainbow Biridge?They have it online-it cheered me up.You can also light a candle for each of them and do a little memorial.I will pray for you and for their little souls.

[Belles]

Kim, you asked how you cope? That's the million dollar question, but you just do. There's the old saying that God doesn't give us anymore than we can handle. But if this is His idea of a practical joke, it's not funny. All I know is that you are here, you are coping.. it just doesn't seem like it to you.

Take lots of deep breathes, get some counseling, get some rest.. and take care of yourselves, please!