I have lost a baby!

[Nicci]

On the first day of the new year I had to make a very hard decision. I had to put my cat Sydney to sleep. The vet gave me options but I felt that they would only prolong her suffering and I didn't want to do that. I loved her too much. She started breathing hard on Christmas Eve and by Sunday she couldn't eat because of the labored breathing. Monday morning I called the vet and made her appointment for yesterday morning. I couldn't sleep on Monday night because I was fearing the worse. My heart was breaking already by that time. I knew what the doctor would say to me and I was right. He consoled me after I had made the decision to have her put to sleep. He told me that he would have made the same decision in this case. He gave me a hug and then left me to my "goodbyes." After a couple of minutes he came back into the room and took Sydney out. I left and I sat out in the car and cried for a few more minutes. Then I called my family and broke the news to them. I quieted down before I drove home. Now today my other two cats, Sasha and Mao Mao, seem very down. So it has been a somber day in my home. I have included a picture of Sydney with my posting.

[Darleen]

I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your cat. Having to go through this with one of our loved pets is heartbreaking. I think all we can do at times like this to try to get through it, is to know we did the right thing and they are not suffering anymore. I know it still really hurts though. :(

[Emma]

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Your cat must have been very dear to you, and I know what it feels like to loose a beloved friend. It also stinks that you had to go through this during the holidays. I am glad Sydney got to spend her last moments with her mom.

[Carolyn McFann]

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dear Sydney. What a beautiful and furtunate cat she was, to have a loving owner who only wanted what was best for her throughout her life and death. Having lost one of my three cats two months ago, I understand fully how rough it is. Hold Sasha and Mao Mao close, as they sound like my cats, depressed at the loss of their friend. With love and time, you will get through a horrible time together. The sun does come out later, it just takes lots of time. I know. Calling a grief hotline is helpful when those times crop up when the pain is especially bad. I used one a few times, and it's very, very helpful. We are here for you, too.

Carolyn

[Nicci]

I received something very nice in the mail today. It was a sympathy card from the vet. When I had to put a pet down many years ago the vet that I went to then showed no compassion and I never received a sympathy card. I feel like now I have found the most wonderful vet who not only cares for my pets but also me. That is important because making the decision I had to on Tuesday morning was not an easy one and he knew it. Everyone I have been meaning to thank all of you for your support through my sad time. I have come a wonderful place.

[Christina Pontius]

My sympathies to you. My family just went through the same thing back in July with our corgi/beagle mix, Chester. He had kidney failure, his vet was out of town, we kept Chester at home as long as he wanted to be with us & he could go outside to be in his favorite place, on our deck. When he could not get out of bed anymore, we took him to the emergency room, they did everything they could, but he was not even able to wag his tail anymore. We made sure we were with him when we let him go. When our vet got the paperwork from the emergency room, she sent us a sympathy card letting us know how sad the news had made her. It helped so much to know the vet cared & had rememberances of him. The next time I went to the vet for my new babie's vaccinations, Chester was all she could talk about. We still miss Chester, but knowing people have things they remember about him really has helped us.

[irene mckoy]

wow, i am so sorry for your lose. i am going thru the same thing now with my baby, my heart is broken , my reason for getting up every morning to to check her this damn cancer and kidney failure is taking its toll on the both of us, she had had surgery twice, and still the tomors are back now this site will be of help to me and many other such as my self who has had a long term relatioship with their pets than k you for your story tigress and precious

[Carolyn McFann]

I know you are really suffering right now, along with your dear pet. It's so rough to deal with but you can be proud of yourself for being there for your dear baby, and she knows that you love her. That means so much to them, and it's the loving, caring thing to do. When my Blackie was ill, I felt so hopeless and helpless. It was comforting for Blackie to know that I wouldn't leave him, and that he wasn't alone. You are being a wonderful pet parent and make sure to pat yourself on the back during a thankless situation. I'm sorry that your heart is broken, mine is too over losing Blackie, but he had a long life, and we were together for it. You have had your cat a long time, and to me that is a gift to us, to be an important part of a precious animal's life. Be proud of yourself.

[irene mckoy]

carolyn , thank you for your support i am overwhelmed by this support group it just bring tears to my eyes knowing that i am not alone or stupid for loving preciuos as much as i do.(some people tell me its just a cat) but she is more than that to me, i will keep precious home with me until she becomes where she doenst eat or looks as if she is in discomfort, but it is people like you that help us go on , you and wendy for starting this forum,and all who contribute to it God bless you all and your babies,(pets) love tigress and precious

[irene mckoy]

blackie is sooooo beautiful, he reminds me of a black cat i had with white paws front and back called little boots,also black cats are good luck, but only a ct lover would feel like this so i guess you agree. i understand what you mean about feeling hopeless but yes it is a gift to us that they allow us to take care of thm (ha,ha) you know how those felines are we are allowed to be in their world and its a pleasure thans again for your story which will help us get through the next couple of days

[Vladimir]

I feel terribly sorry for you, although I am certain that you made the right decision, which is the last and best gift that a pet parent can give. So I will tell you a bit of my philosophy on this. And I will talk generally. I am not religious, but one idea I like to hold onto is the concept of "restoration," both for humans and absolutely for our animal companions. That is to say that, when you meet your family and friends in the "afterlife," (whatever that concept may mean for you, individually), they will be "restored," and in an optimal state, not "sick" or debilitated as they might have been when they died. "Optimal state" is MY word. What does it mean? Well, I don't really know, it could be different for every person or animal. Does it mean as an infant, (perhaps, the optimal healthy state?), or some other time? So, for my fiancée, who died at 53, I would take that as just before she became ill, perhaps 51. For a 3 year old cat I recently fostered through hospice that might mean 2 years old. For another cat I still miss every day for the last 15 years— that might mean 14. But it might mean something else, for anyone who reads this, I cannot know. And we also probably cannot know when that period of "perfection" is set, since we are not aware of it at the time. The point I like to hold onto though, is the general one, the idea of "restoration," that when we meet again, that person or animal will be "healthy" and "happy."

So Nicci, my idea for you is that Sydney will be there waiting to meet you someday, and she will be waiting for you very impatiently, and I'm certain that her tail will be swaying straight in the air, her purr will fill the air furiously! How "old" will she be? I have no way of knowing, and perhaps, you do not either. But you may be able for now to go back to the day when she was stronger, and ran to greet you at the door each day, and tore up the place with her play— who knows? The “decision” on what that absolute time of “perfection” would be, would not be yours to make, it will already be taken care of. But what I think is taking place RIGHT NOW, is that she is returned to her beautiful self, whatever that time may be, and has doubtless made many friends on the other side of the bridge. She does not need food, she does not need to eat even— her care is in place already and she is sustained by something larger, could we call it, for want of better, the “milk of love”? These new friends, be they animal or human, will comfort her and offer her companionship and play, (perhaps she has met siblings of her own you were never aware of) and will sustain her every moment as she waits for you to arrive. She has found (indeed, they must have been waiting for her!) the animal companions you or your family may have had in the past, and they form a kinship with this common bond. She does not know when that time will be, but she has no concern for that, for she is happy and makes others where she is happy too. That time may seem like ages away to you today— but for Sydney, I don't think "time" has any meaning in that sense. She wants you to stay in your mortal state as long as possible, to be happy, to honor your current relationships, and hopefully, to give over your love when you are able to another animal companion. Because to do that, is to honor her. As hard as it may seem at this moment, today— it may take you a long time— she does want you to someday make the leap to give the love that you gave to her to another, and not let it waste.

I do not know when this instant of reunion will occur for you, and I suppose that you cannot either. It may be that you are in a “different” restored state yourself when you meet again, how can you know? But I do feel that Sydney is content and occupied until that moment comes, and perhaps even romping about in this place over the bridge, which we cannot even describe, only imagine each for ourselves. So you can let your imagination run free, and contemplate your happiest environment for her— and surely, if you knew, it would even soar far above that! Indeed, your comprehension cannot conjure how beautiful the place is that she now “lives” in. Trust me, you did your best for her, the right thing at the right time, and had she been able to speak your “human” language surely would have told you so. But you are to know that, on your own, as means of comfort and support to you in these hard days. I truly do believe, that she is happy. You should be too, as you can look forward to meeting up again someday, when you are ready.

[Nicci]

Vladamir that was wonderful. Thank you! I hope that Sydney was greeted by her father (whom I also loved dearly and lost 3 1/2 years ago) and her grandmother whom she was so much like. There are also my two dogs on the other side of the bridge and I hope that they met up with her. She was a spitfire in this world and I am sure she is back to her old self there.

[Vladimir]

I can assure you of that, absolutely.